It’s important to seek the good in yourself and others as well as the positives in the situations you encounter each day. It’s something that you might have to work at—especially on tough days or when a project flops, for instance—but it pays big dividends in happiness, Kolber says.
The daily repetition of gratitude and positivity helps rewire our brains, ultimately leading to more positive thoughts, then more positive behaviors and, in time, more joy.
- Think of three positive things each day that you are looking forward to, and write them down where you can see them to align your day with these intentions.
- Talk to yourself with as much kindness as you would talk to a good friend.
- Keep an open mind and stay curious about what might bring you joy.
“We can shift off this idea of focusing on perfection and instead focus on passion” and purpose, Kolber says, bringing more of the things we value into our lives. That doesn’t mean you’re a slacker, Kolber says. You will probably work just as hard as before, if not harder, yet you will be motivated by possibility and potential versus doubt and fear.
“I’m working harder than I ever have, and I have more joy and freedom and capacity for failure than I’ve ever had in life,” Kolber says. The difference, she says, is that now she can savor the experience, not beat herself up for mistakes, and she’s not pinning her happiness on a specific outcome or goal. Kolber hasn’t had a panic attack in 10 years.
“I still have bouts of social anxiety, I still have days when I fear being judged and I still occasionally get anxious,” Kolber says. But, she adds, she no longer feels the need to be perfect.
“The focus is off me. I am no longer my thoughts.” This shift, she says, “has allowed me to dream bigger and more importantly help others do the same.”
Photo credit: Mark Kuroda, kurodastudios.com
Hair and Make-up: Mia Delina Escobar