How do you love yourself when you don’t even like yourself?

When you’re not happy with the life you live, the body you have or the choices you’ve made, it is difficult to truly love yourself.

Society tells us we have to blend in to be accepted, and we have been so busy trying to be what “they” said we should be that we’ve forgotten who we are. And how do you love someone when you have no idea who they are?

The simple answer is: You get to know them first. If you genuinely want to understand, accept and, yes, love yourself, get to know who you are as a person!

Ask these 20 questions to help you discover what you love about yourself (even when you don’t like yourself).

Start by asking yourself the following questions:

  1. Do you go along with others because you’re afraid of disagreeing?
  2. Do you worry what others think of you and secretly wait for their approval?
  3. Deep down, are you afraid to voice your opinions because you fear what others will think of you?
  4. Do you avoid showing up in your business as your true self, saying what you actually think because you fear that people won’t like you?

If you answered “yes” to any of those questions, you are not alone. These fears are all quite common. We fear standing out, so we compromise who we are, what we believe and what we want.

Now that you’re starting to get the big picture of who you are and what you believe, let’s dig deeper.

Answer the following questions honestly and vulnerably:

  1. What makes me happy?
  2. What do I love to do but gave it up a long time ago?
  3. Who do I love to spend time with and why?
  4. What did I enjoy doing when I was a kid?
  5. If I could do anything tomorrow (money isn’t an object), what would it be and why?

These questions start you down the path of letting go of who you thought you were and embracing who you are. Don’t stop here, keep going!

Now, start asking yourself the hard questions:

  1. Do I really like my friends? If not, why are they my friends?
  2. Is my partner really the one? If not, why am I in this relationship?
  3. What do I really believe about what a partner should be in a relationship?
  4. Do I enjoy my career? Am I doing what I really love, and does it light me up every day? If not, why am I doing it?
  5. If I could say only one thing to the world forever, what would it be and why?
  6. What would I do if no one would ever find out about it?

Finally, once you’ve started to see who you are and who you aren’t, it’s time to start discovering what makes you so amazing—aka your self-worth.

Keep going—dig deep and be honest with yourself!

  1. What is one thing that makes me unique?
  2. What can I do better than anyone else I know?
  3. What are three words people would use to describe me? (Hint: If you don’t know, ask them!)
  4. What am I most proud of?
  5. What have I accomplished in life? (This could range from getting the kids off to school this morning to landing that partner, job, parking spot or client.)

As you make it through this list of questions and begin reflecting on your answers, you will not only begin to discover the truth of who you are, but you’ll also discover how incredible you truly are. In other words, you’ll discover reasons to love yourself.

Open up to yourself about your wants and desires, be vulnerable with your innermost self and discover your self-worth.

Once you have a better understanding of what makes you YOU, you’ll begin loving yourself in ways you never thought possible!

Photo credit: Mikail Duran, Unsplash